The Masquerade of Indifference
by TheMusicLives
Summary: On January 1st, 1980, there's nothing more that Jackie wants than to ensure her relationship with Fez will stay strong. It's funny how much can change in 24 hours, especially when you can't get your ex off of your mind. JH, reposted from another penname.
1. Best Layed Plans

Welcome to "A Lack of Indifference 2.0!" I'm just kidding about that, but if you're one of the readers that requested my new penname, I thank you. Your support is so very important to me and knowing that this story is touching someone is an amazing thing. This story was previously posted under the penname "RegardstoBroadway;" I'm moving it to this new penname chapter by chapter because a younger brother managed to find it. I'm also going to go through and tweak mistakes that I've found before re-posting them to make it read better for you. I'm not sure how I like the new name that I've chosen for the story, so it may change back after a week or so, once I've completely deleted my other account.

Again, thank you for taking time out of your day to pay tribute to our favorite star crossed couple and a special thanks to everyone who originally beta'd or reviewed this for me. Your guidance has been invaluable.

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from That 70's Show; the people who did screwed them up and left them for loyal fans like me to fix them.**

**Rated T: Some language (Hyde _is_ in this story) and some possible adult content**

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The Masquerade of Indifference 

**Chapter 1**

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**January 1, 1980 - 1:04 am**

**The Forman Residence - Living Room**

It was only an hour and four minutes into the New Decade and Jackie had already decided it was going to be much better than the last one. In the Forman living room, surrounded by friends and ex-boyfriends and she breathed a sigh of relief that she wasn't single anymore. She and Fez had finally gotten their act together; they were happy and Jackie was determined to keep it that way. Yes, she knew that, in the past, she told her guys that they were the ones who were supposed to plan the romance, but after the disastrous relationships that were Michael Kelso and Steven Hyde, she decided that it was time to take matters into her own hands. She had a plan! The way that she was going to keep Fez in line was to give him what had he wanted for what seemed like forever. Her.

Jackie's plan was absolutely fool-proof; she was going to party, hard. She was going to gulp down as much of Mrs. Forman's cheap Champagne as she could, calories be damned, and get so wasted that Fez would have to carry her home. Once there, she would put the moves on Fez. This way, it would be easier to get past the nervousness of becoming intimate with one of her closest friends, and they could move on to become the happiest couple to ever appear on the Newlywed Game. Wait, that was phase two of the plan. Oh, well... moving on.

Looking around the Forman living room, she felt rather good about this plan of hers. Yes, she would get exactly what she deserved. A loving boyfriend, that wouldn't cheat on her repeatedly OR runaway and marry a stripper in Vegas at the first sign of needing to make a commitment. Those problems were things of the past; mentally out with the trash, like her Ex's, both of whom were present at tonight's New Year's celebration. Along with said ex's, the people surrounding her included the newly reunited Eric and Donna, Red and Kitty Forman, Bob Pinciotti and Leo. Michael was showing new pictures of Betsy and his baby's momma Brooke to Eric and Leo, while her most recent Ex, Steven, was sitting down guzzling beer after beer after... well, you get the picture.

Her first boyfriend, Michael, had been two years older than her and her first in more ways than one, but in the end, she was just too mature for him. He was a beautiful boy, almost as attractive as Jackie, who bought her presents, took her places, and always made sure to tell her how much prettier she was than every other girl. For the most part, Michael did everything a good boyfriend should do. There was only one problem with him; Michael may have been the prettiest man that Jackie had ever laid eyes on, but he had made sure that every other girl in a fifty mile radius had also laid "eyes" on him. Jackie had been broken up with him and dating Steven by the time he knocked Brooke up, but, Michael had still named her and Steven Godparents of his daughter, Betsy.

As Jackie's eyes wandered from Michael's proud father grin, her eyes landed on her most recent ex-boyfriend, Steven. His brown curly hair was washed and as controlled as it could get, he was clean shaven except for that Male Prostitute mustache that he insisted on sporting these days, and his clear blue eyes were covered with his trademark aviator glasses. All in all, he was in much better shape than usual. Even though Steven had never been as obviously handsome as Michael, he was really good looking none-the-less; he would have to be to date Jackie. With his rebellious ways and subtle charm, he had always seemed just a little bit dangerous. Jackie had fallen completely in love with him, but her Steven seemed to be allergic to relationships.

Looking at him now, he wasn't smiling, like the other people in the room. Steven was sitting in Red Forman's pea green recliner, staring off into space, looking a little more depressed than a guy with a refrigerator full of beer in the next room should. Ever since that slutty stripper Sam's real husband showed up and Steven realized that his marriage wasn't valid, he had been doing a lot more just sitting around than usual; something that had been previously thought to be impossible. He must have felt the weight of Jackie's assessing stare on him, because his eyes wandered to meet hers. Unable to resist flicking her eyes away the moment a sardonic smirk lifted his lips, Jackie felt a slight blush heat her cheeks as she tried not to think about much she used to love the feel of his eyes on her.

She was silently berating herself for spending so much time thinking about the ex that she was determined to be over with when Steven loudly announced that he was going downstairs for some peace and quiet. As soon as he got to his feet, the entire gang left their respective conversations and followed him. Letting out a sigh, Jackie grabbed her glass of Champagne and an unopened bottle, so that she could keep her plan on track by re-filling her glass, and followed everyone downstairs. Once the group was seated in their usual spots around the table in the basement, with the exception of Jackie who was sitting in Fez's lap instead of Steven's, it was just business as usual. While everyone else did what they always did when they were in "the circle," Jackie was finishing her second glass of Champagne. She was reaching down to the floor to get the other bottle so that she could re-fill her glass, her hand didn't find what it was looking for.

"Looking for this, drunkie?" Donna jokingly asked, holding up the practically empty bottle of Champagne. "There isn't much left, but you can have it," she said as she put the bottle in Jackie's hand.

"DONNA! I brought that down here for me!" Jackie practically shouted at Donna. As soon as the words left her mouth, Jackie's hand flew to cover her mouth; she knew that she was going to regret that outburst.

Steven jumped at the chance to put her down, just like she knew he would. "What, Jackie, did you realize that Fez would be easier to handle if you were drunk off your ass?" Even though he was quite a few ahead of her in the drink department, he had a shit-eating grin on his face that melded into a knowing smirk. Clenching her fists under the table, Jackie sent a silent curse in his direction; he had always been able to read her so well. Of course she wasn't lucky enough to be so far off his radar by now that he would have stopped noticing her.

"For your information, HYDE, I am just so tired of drinking that dirty swill you call Beer! I was ready to indulge in something that I would actually enjoy the taste of, even if it is an off-brand." Turning his smirk back around on him, she hoped Steven knew she was calling his bluff.

"Whatever. I just thought that you would want to be sober to be able to enjoy whatever develops tonight in your new... RELATIONSHIP?" Jackie wasn't sure if the whole room could hear his eyes rolling, but she could swear the action had been audible; what ever it was, the sound of his disapproval was causing her stomach to churn. "Is that what you are calling the joke that is you and Fez?" The smirk hadn't left his face, and now he had insulted her new man; something that, in the past, would have made her prompted her to think he was jealous. As she aimed a pissed off glare in his direction, she decided jealousy from Steven was impossible; as far as she could tell, he had stopped giving a shit what she did with herself months ago.

Fez, for some reason, was cracking up at the exchange between his girlfriend and her ex. Jackie threw a look up at him that said she was going to unleash her claws and help his eyes out of his head and he had the gall to sound confused. "What, Jackie, he said that we were a joke..." Jackie just looked at him incredulously, waiting for him to comprehend, "Oh, wait... HYDE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Fez launched himself over the coffee table at Steven and Steven just sat there, letting out a maniacal chuckle as Fez tripped over said table and fell to the floor. "Ai, my knee!" Fez cried. Jackie was up on her feet immediately, flashing Steven a venomous look as she reached for her boyfriend. Steven just raised his eyebrows in response and watched as Jackie cooed over Fez's laughable injury. She helped Fez get up and over to the stairs, which he started climbing toward Mrs. Forman and the ice pack she would give him.

As Jackie began to climb the stairs, she tossed a look over her shoulder at the shell of the man that she had once been proud to call hers; the man who had once been the love of her life. "You know, Steven, if I didn't know any better, I would think that you were jealous... but we all know by now that you aren't capable of caring about anyone other than yourself." Before he could reply with one of his smart-ass comments, she followed her boyfriend up the stairs.

Hyde just sat in his chair, arms crossed, staring straight over the top of the dark television set. "Burn," He whispered to himself. No one heard him; but even if they had, the remaining basement occupants knew better than to try and talk to him about it; they knew to leave him alone.

Upstairs, after she finally found a tipsy Mrs. Forman, Jackie filled a new Champagne glass and gulped it down. The only problem was that this bottle was now empty, too. She followed Mrs. Forman out of the kitchen into the parent infested living room. "Mrs. Forman, where are the other bottles of Champagne?" She knew that Mrs. Forman wasn't aware of enough to figure out what she was up to, but she still wanted to make sure that Fez hadn't. Then again, after what just happened downstairs, she wasn't sure he would get it if she explained it.

"That one on the counter in the kitchen is the last one, Jackie, dear." Mrs. Forman looked over at her, "Didn't you get some earlier?"

"Yeah, I was just so relieved to have something else to drink, you know, other than beer... Yuck." Jackie flashed a smile at the loving woman, earning an eye-rolling from Mr. Forman across the room, "I guess I will have to switch to wine."

Mrs. Forman looked at her, "I'm sorry, dear, but we're out of wine, too. It's all gone." She smiled at Jackie's disappointed face, "I know. That makes me sad, too." Mrs. Forman gave one of her trademark laughs and walked over to her husband, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Mr. Forman, looking annoyed as usual, spoke up. "It doesn't matter what we have left to drink, I want everyone out of my house so I can get some sleep!" A wry grin came over his features, "Unless you want a drink from the last bottle of My Foot in Your Ass," he said, laughing at his own joke.

Jackie was walking toward the kitchen, trying to figure out how to keep her plan on track. "I think that Fez and I will just get going, Mrs. Forman. Thank you for having us!" When she burst through the kitchen door, weaving around like she was drunk, it surprised her more than it did Fez. His knee must have been feeling better because he was up and across the kitchen to help her walk, leading her toward the sliding glass door.

"Let's get you home, Jackie, my Queen." Fez spoke sweetly into her ear. Biting her lip, Jackie silently wondered how long she was going to be able to keep up the act and if acting drunk would achieve the same result as the real thing. Tightening her grip on Fez's arm, she decided it would just have to.


	2. Achieving Perfection

**Here's the re-vamped chapter two, within a few days, as promised. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed fixing it. Oh, and remember, this is a J/H centered story, so hang in there with me while I take care of some uncomfortable things first.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from That 70's Show. The people who did screwed them up and left them for loyal fans like me to fix them.**

**Rated T: Some language (Hyde **_**is**_** in this story) and some mild sexual content**

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**The Masquerade of Indifference**

**Chapter 2**

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January 1, 1980 - 2:30 am - Jackie and Fez's Apartment**

The sound of keys jangling outside the door of Apartment 2C gave way to a stumbling Fez, who was doing his best to lead a limp Jackie into the dark living room. As soon as the door clicked closed, Jackie grabbed Fez by his hair and pressed her lips forcefully to his. Her breath tasted like Champagne and Mrs. Forman's pizza rolls and, although Fez wasn't picky enough to complain when Jackie was kissing him, he pulled away.

"Jackie, we need to slow down..." he said, pushing her away, rather short of breath.

"Shut up and kiss me, Fezzie!" Jackie slurred and reached for him. He stepped back, trying to steady himself and trying to remember why he had pulled away from his drunken and obviously willing girlfriend in the first place.

"You're drunk and... what the hell is wrong with me? Forget I said anything," he answered himself and allowed her to pull him toward her bedroom.

"I knew you would come to your shenses and shut the hell up... I mean, who wouldn't want me?" Grinning while she spoke, she threw her arms out wide and sang, "I'm Backie Jerkhart and I... am gorgeous!" Jackie quickly grabbed Fez by the arm, pulled him into her bedroom, closed the door, and flopped down on her bed. "Come here, Fezzalicious!" She hit the radio on her bedside table and the soft sound of Rufus and Chaka Khan's _Sweet Thing_ began to fill the room.

He walked over and sat down on the bed next to her, trying to decide just how drunk she was and whether he could be gentleman enough to resist her if things got too heated. He didn't want to make a mistake and rush this relationship the way he had with all of his others. Sure, Jackie is extremely hot, she would be the first to tell you, and he would be crazy not to want her. But even he couldn't help but take pause, to think about whether or not he wanted their first time to be like this. Was there a possibility that she would hate him the morning for letting things happen when she was in this condition? She really was in no state to be thinking clearly.

"I think that I'm going to sleep in my room tonight, Jackie." Fez said regretfully.

Jackie sat up like a shot and looked at him as if he had Twizzlers coming out of his ears: "What? Why would you wanna to do that?" She looked and felt genuinely confused; she was working so hard to appear drunk off her ass and Fez was going to back away? "But Fezzzzzzieee, I want cha! Aren'tchu gonna to try an take advantage of me while I'ma drunkt?" Deciding to try keeping up the act a few more minutes, "I'ya thought that chu liked 'em tipsy!"

The song on the little radio, all but forgotten, changed to Firefall's _Cinderella _while a confused look crossed Fez's face. "You... want me... to take advantage of you?" He considered, just for a second, how much easier it would be on him if she was drunk during their first time together. There wouldn't be any pressure to impress her or fear of embarrassment, but she may attempt to kill him so he came to the quick conclusion that staying alive was more important than getting some tonight. He shook his head at her and tried to look apologetic for his survival tactic. "I'm not going to do that Jackie. You might be mad at me in the morning, and I have to live with you." He got up off of the bed and walked toward the door. "I will see you in the morning."

Jackie didn't know whether to coo or scream at him. "Fez," she said softly, "Come back over here and talk to me for a minute." She held out her hand to him.

He held his hand up as if to stop her from speaking and said forcefully, "I said, 'In the morning!'" Fez proceeded to open the door and attempted to walk out but was immediately stopped by Jackie in the doorway. He turned and walked across the small room, away from her, while he was thinking about how to escape a drunk, and obviously horny, Jackie when the speed with which she crossed the room just now hit him. She was having difficulty walking just a few minutes ago. When he realized that she had been putting on a show for him, he wasn't sure whether to be hurt or relieved, He whipped around and angrily dumbfounded at Jackie, only able to say one thing: "You aren't drunk."

She looked at him with a sarcastic look on her face, "No, really? I thought the ground looked awful steady." No one had ever said that he was the brightest Skittle in the box, but this surprised even her. Her acting skills must have been even better than she had guessed.

She waited only a moment before she could almost see the light bulb go on over Fez's head. "You wanted me to... but Jackie, I... I don't understand why you would try to trick me." He went back over to the bed, sat down, and looked up at her. "Why would you do that?"

Jackie walked over and sat down on his left side. "Why do you think, Fezzie?" She took his left hand in hers and massaged it gently as she spoke. "I was nervous, so I thought it might be easier if you thought we didn't need to impress each other." Jackie grinned sheepishly up at him, where she saw how hurt he actually looked, and tried to comfort him by saying, "But I do want to be with you, Babe."

Fez looked down at her, feeling betrayed, "Sure... you just wanted me to think that you were drunk... why? So you could pretend to forget in the morning, if things didn't go so well?" He snatched his hand out of hers and averted his quickly filling eyes from her view. "I can't believe that you would do this to me!"

She just looked at him, looked at the wetness that had started to drop down his cheeks, and immediately felt terrible; she had just been trying to _protect_ his ego not damage it! She never understood why she always got caught but it was even worse when she was just trying to protect him. "I'm sorry, Fezzie. I was just scared that things would be awkward and I thought that if I was drunk it would be easier and I tried really hard to really be drunk, but Donna and Mrs. Forman drank all of the Champagne, and Mr. Forman kicked us out and so I thought that I would just pretend and we would be able to move past this awkward 'Friends who became lovers' stage and start to feel like a normal couple, and that I would..." Jackie's long, desperate rant was interrupted by Fez's lips.

He gently pulled away after the kiss and looked her in the eyes, "You're really nervous? I thought that it was only me!" He suddenly felt very happy to be on her bed. "Can we just forget about this and get back to where we were about to do it?" He waggled his eyebrows, flashing her a grin and she rolled her eyes.

"You aren't mad anymore, Fezzie?" She leaned in and kissed him, long and deep, and pulled away. "I really do want our first time to special."

As the radio changed to Carly Simon's _You belong to me_, Jackie started to unbutton Fez's shirt and placed her hands on his skin. "Why don't we just pick up where we left off, honey?" She started tracing her name into his chest with her finger and she knew she didn't have to ask; the heartbeat that was speeding up below her fingers told her that he was already putty in her hands.

Fez wasn't going to argue with her anymore, not when her fingers felt as good as they did while she lightly touched his chest. He leaned over and quickly kissed her. "As long as you don't think that you'll regret it in the morning... because I don't think that I could take that, My Goddess."

"Fezzie," she said as she pulled her sweater over her head, revealing her sheer camisole, "I don't think that regretting this, something that happens between two people who are _so_ perfect for each other, will be possible." She grabbed the waistband on the front of his pants and pulled him toward her. As her small fingers worked the button on the top of his slacks, her mind strangely, briefly flashed to the image of Steven Hyde. Trying in vain not to think about the last time she had been undressed in the presence of a boyfriend, she pulled Fez closer. She would focus on him, her Fez and everything would be just as wonderful as it should be.

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10 Minutes Later...**

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Jackie was lying in bed, studying the ceiling like it held the key to the meaning of life, and all she could say was "Huh." For two people that had been so perfect for each other on paper, things had gone even worse than she had ever possibly imagined. 

She had said _Huh_ many times before when things felt strange; this time it was different. It wasn't like that very first real kiss with Steven; she had said _Huh_ then because she was surprised that it didn't feel anywhere close to how she had imagined it, even though it _had_ been wonderful. The _Huh_ that was escaping her lips right now was bad. As if "bad" wasn't enough, Steven's constant presence in her thoughts took "bad" and molded it into terrible.

"Just say it, Jackie..." Fez grumbled, breaking the relative silence from the other side of the bed, "That was terrible... even by my standards... and I am easily pleased." He looked at her, with eyes that practically begged her for answer, "Why was there no pizzazz... no fireworks?" His eyes turned to look at other parts of his Jackie, running them appreciatively along that sheet her covered body, "How did this happen to us?"

She turned her head and looked towards the doorway to her room, "I just don't know, Fez." Jackie was really feeling aggravated. He was her perfect man, her soul mate; they had the same taste in everything: clothes, shoes, television shows, music. If these similarities didn't mean anything, then what made two people fit together? Wait, Scratch that word fit. What made two people _belong_ together? _F__it_ was a sore subject right now.

"I wonder what this could mean..." She turned her gaze to him, "Remember how hard it was to have our first official kiss? Maybe this is like that... ya know, practice makes perfect?" She was looking to him for validation, trying to believe her own words, but knowing in her heart that she was probably wrong. "Fezzie?"

Fez, visibly upset, sat up and practically shouted at Jackie, "But what if it isn't like that? What if we are just no good together?" He started to squirm, trying to kick off the covers so that he could stand up, forgetting that he was naked as a jay bird, "What are we going to do, Jackie?!" As he started pacing the floor, Jackie's soft voice broke through his impending rage.

"I don't know why it was like this our first time, Fezzie, but I do know that I want to try again to be with you." Slightly unnerved by her nudity, Jackie left the bed and took Fez's hand. Pulling him close to her, she started swaying to the gentle rhythm of Billy Joel's _She's Always a Woman_ on the radio.

When their bodies were touching in all of the right places, Fez's hands slid slowly down her back to her ass and pulled her even closer, so that the evidence of his renewed arousal pressing against her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gently pulled him into a slow, smooth kiss and gazed deeply into his eyes. "I know I don't have to ask if you want to try this again, but, how about it? I'm not gonna let this thing... this _tiny setback_... ruin MY chance at happiness without a fight."

Instead of answering her, Fez took her hand and led her back over to her Queen-sized bed. She lay down and pulled him on top of her forgetting the covers and set her mind to enjoy her time with him. She was determined to get this right. SHE was Jackie Burkhart, and she wasn't going to let anything come between her and the perfect man of her perfect dreams.

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6 Minutes Later...**

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"Jackie, I've never had to try this hard to enjoy doing it!" Fez was being whiny and it was reminding Jackie that he wasn't really as perfect as her list made him out to be; his whining _really_ bugged her. This was definitely not one of his most endearing moments; especially because she was already beyond pissed off. 

"Shut UP, Fez!" Jackie was beginning to get really frustrated at both Fez for his complaining and at herself for finding herself in this situation. How could this have happened to her? Fez was supposed to be her _perfect_ match! She sat up, swung her legs over the side of the bed, and walked to her dresser. After choosing her most frigid-looking long pajamas, she slammed the drawer shut and began to get dressed. "I think that we should call it a night."

Fez just looked at her, his Goddess, and he knew that this was going to be a deal-breaker. He was probably going to lose her over this lack of chemistry they seemed to have. With the way that she was acting, stomping around mad, he was trying to remember why that was a bad thing. Sure, Jackie was as hot as they came, but right now she was acting like the she-devil Eric had always warned him that she was.

He got up, gathered his clothes, and walked toward Jackie's bedroom door. As he grabbed the cold knob, he looked back over his shoulder and bid her goodnight, "Good day, Jackie." When she didn't respond, didn't even try to stop him from going, he tried to contain his disappointment. He had a sinking feeling that everything was going to continue to unravel in the morning, that she probably wouldn't talk to him again. At that moment, he made his decision and then finished his trademark phrase to himself in a whisper. "I said good day."

After she was finally alone, laying there in her bed, staring at the ceiling again, she realized that Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me" was mocking her on the radio. Violently, she grabbed the offending object and threw it across the room, finally getting the silence that she was craving even if it meant that she would be alone with her thoughts.

Rolling over to her side, Jackie started to regret achieving the silence she thought she craved. Echoing off of the walls were the damning memories of her first times with both of her former boyfriends. She just couldn't stop herself from thinking about how it had never been _this_ awkward with Michael and how she and Steven had never had to try, how with Steven it had always been completely perfect. As she shut her eyes tight to block out the visuals that went with that scary thought, she decided she definitely wasn't looking forward to the morning. There would be no joy in breaking the heart she was going to crush tomorrow.

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**A/N**: Well, there you have it. This chapter may make you squirm to read, but imagine having to write it... it'll make you feel better. You know what also will make you feel better? Reviewing. Confession, as they say, is good for the soul. 


	3. Gruesome Details

**Wow, this chapter need some major changes. As I read through this, I could definitely tell that I stayed up writing this chapter all night and didn't have it Beta'd. This should be a lot smoother, clearer read for you guys. I hope you enjoy... it was incredibly fun to write!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from That 70's Show. The people who did screwed them up and left them for loyal fans like me to fix them.**

**Rated T: Some dirty language (Not **_**just**_** from Hyde this time!)**

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**The Masquerade of Indifference**

**Chapter 3**

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Tuesday, January 1, 1980 - 7:22 am**

**Jackie and Fez's Apartment**

After Jackie's master plan had backfired the night before, Fez decided to make it less difficult on both of them and just leave. It would be easier for him to not have to see her everyday since he now knew what happened when he acted on his dirty needs. He winced when he thought about the magical perfection that their night together should have been. In his mind, there was only one way to atone for his mistake: he would leave Jackie in order to make things right. He had no idea where he would go; he just knew he was that getting out of there was his only option.

Grabbing the pad of paper that Jackie had kept by the phone since her epic "Remembering messages doesn't work as well as writing them down" and "A message won't get washed off of a piece of paper" speeches, he jotted out a note for Jackie. After quickly reading it back to himself, he nodded and hung it on refrigerator with her little Unicorn magnet. After reflecting on how the note he had just written was short and sweet, like his Jackie, he slapped his forehead. He was going to have to stop thinking of her as his.

Looking around the apartment, Fez was halfway between becoming frantic and feeling like a covert agent with all the exciting sneaking around he was doing. Just in case he couldn't convince someone else to come back and get his things for him, he concentrated on packing only the most necessary items. He grabbed his worn out suitcase and threw in what he deemed his _most essential_ possessions: his favorite Disco records, his trusty binoculars, two of his favorite outfits and his emergency chocolate bar.

After looking around the shadowed room, he started toward the exit of his and Jackie's apartment for what could be the last time. As he walked toward the door, he saw Jackie's clean laundry on the couch. Eyeing the garments greedily, he slapped himself on the forehead for the second time in a span of five minutes_. Knowing_ he was kidding himself by thinking he wouldn't, he grabbed one of her bras and a pair of her underwear and stuffed them into his pocket. Deciding he was finally ready to go, he smiled smugly to himself, walked out the door of Apartment 2C, and locked it behind him.

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20 minutes later**

**The Forman Basement**

Hyde was lying in his bed and trying decided if he should even bother trying to go to sleep anymore. For some reason, all the beer he drank last night hadn't helped to quiet his mind, neither had two solo circles, and he couldn't remember when he had ever been so sleepless. Normally, he would come into his room, strip down to his boxers and undershirt, fall into bed, and instantly proceed to sleep off his hang over.

For some reason, beyond his understanding, he couldn't stop thinking about all that had gone down last night. Most of all, he couldn't forget the detached look on Jackie's face when she said that he wasn't capable of caring about anyone but himself. He wanted to curse her, believe that she was still the spoiled bitch that she was when they first met, but that wouldn't be fair. As much as he hated to admit it, she was no longer that same person who would fit his automatic description of her; she was just sticking up for her boyfriend.

Before he could think about it any further, he heard a loud, graceless crash outside of his tiny bedroom. "What the fuck? Why can't I just sleep like everyone else does after partying on New Years Eve?_" _When his empty room declined to answer his pissed of grumble, he threw his legs over the side of the bed. Not only was he sleepless, but now he had to go tell whatever hobo that had wandered in off the street to go sleep it off somewhere else. He envied people who could sleep; it would be nice if Hyde was one of them.

After grabbing the heavy duty flashlight that Red keeps next to the breaker box, Hyde stepped out into the basement den ready to take out his tired frustrations by yelling at some stranger. When he got within view of the outside door, he saw Fez trying to close the door quietly, despite the earth-shattering racket that he had just made. Hyde almost laughed out loud at his strange little foreign friend but decided to burn him instead; it would lift Hyde's mood considerably.

Before Fez could look up and see him standing there, Hyde yelled at Fez, "WHAT? DID JACKIE KICK YOU OUT?" Feeling quite pleased with himself when Fez jumped about three feet into the air, Hyde walked over to his chair and sat down. It was going to take Fez a moment to right himself; he had almost fallen over. Hyde might as well accept the fact that, due to the early hour, Fez was most likely here to see him about something "important." Knowing Fez, it was probably something Jackie related and Hyde had a feeling deep down that this might actually be worth listening to.

Fez stomped loudly over to the lawn chair opposite Hyde's and sighed as he sat down. As hard as he tried to seem angry, when he looked at Hyde, he realized that anger wasn't the emotion that he was feeling. After a moment of contemplation he finally pinpointed how he did feel: resigned to his destiny of never having Jackie's heart. There was no doubt in Fez's mind that his surrender to this cruel twist of fate was written all over his face as he opened his mouth to speak first. It wasn't like Hyde was going to ask what was wrong anyway; the gruff man just wasn't wired like that. "You don't have to yell, you know." He looked down at the floor, feeling somewhat ashamed by the fact that Hyde was the one he was going to open up to about this. "And she didn't kick me out... I left."

Now it was Hyde's turn to almost fall on his ass. "You left... as in, to get some air... or you left, for good?" Hyde wasn't sure how he would react to either answer, if he would believe either answer or why there was an answer that he, personally, wanted Fez to give. His stomach roiled in disgust at his sudden keen interest but was somehow not surprised by it. He schooled his features to appear bored then looked at Fez, not at all happy that he really did want to hear the answer.

For a moment, all that Fez could do was just look at his friend. He wanted to burn Hyde so bad and tell him off. To get through his thick skull that he had ruined Jackie's heart for anyone else. That his problems with Jackie were all Hyde's fault. After a very long night of thinking about it, Fez decided that the reason why there were no fireworks in the bedroom was because Jackie's heart hadn't been in it. He had come to conclusion that, even though Jackie was probably only subconsciously aware of it, her heart was in this basement, sitting across from him, waiting for him to admit that his relationship with Jackie was over. That she was free.

But Fez certainly wasn't going to be the one to tell Hyde all of that. If he was too dumb to figure it out for himself, he didn't deserve her. No matter how much he was certain that Jackie still loved Hyde.

While he wasn't ready to give Hyde the satisfaction of an answer yet, he needed to talk about what happened with someone. The sad thing was that the only friend that he could turn to happened to be Jackie's ex. Instead of giving a quick and painless answer to Hyde, he began to talk about his situation. "When we... got home last night... things... went badly." When Hyde opened his mouth to speak, Fez held up his hand to silence him. When Fez leveled Hyde with a serious glare, showing him his much talked about but rarely seen "dark side," Fez decided that the "whatever" look on Hyde's face meant that he got the hint and he decided to begin again.

Standing up so that he could pace while he ranted, Fez quickly repeated himself. "When we got home last night, things went badly." He snuck a quick look at Hyde to make sure he wasn't going to interrupt and was satisfied; the trademark Zen look was still on Hyde's face. "I thought that she was drunk when we left here, so I practically carried her to our door. Once inside, she pounced on me like a kitten... a horny little kitten. When I tried to walk away, trying to be the gentleman, she crossed the room to the door very quickly to keep me from leaving her room for mine. This made me come to the realization that she wasn't, in fact, drunk as I had been led to believe, but that she was trying to _trick me_ into thinking that she was so that I wouldn't feel the 'need to impress her' when we did it the first time."

Walking back to the lawn chair and sitting down in it, Fez quickly looked over at Hyde, who was trying not to laugh. Turning his eyes from his friend to stare at the floor, he took a deep breath before continuing to force the words from his lips. "Once she explained herself, we both decided that we were ready to go through with doing it... you know how I am. I don't think I have to tell you how it went... other than that it was terrible. Nothing _worked_ right. When I went to-"

"Fez!" Hyde couldn't take it anymore, he had to cut Fez off before he said something that made Hyde hurl on his bare feet. "I'm trying _really_ hard to sit and listen to you ramble on about your sexual problems with my ex-girlfriend, but if you are going to go into specifics,_ you_ can talk to the walls and _I'll_ go to my room." He made like he was getting out of the chair, knowing that Fez would stop him.

Fez sighed loudly and said, "OKAY, HYDE! I will spare you all of the... gruesome details." He scratched his head, trying to think as Hyde settled back into his chair with a smirk. "Now, where was I? Oh, yeah... after the disaster that was our love-making, we decided to try it again and when _that_ turned out even worse than the first time, Jackie kicked me out of her room. She said that we would talk in the morning, but I knew that she was just buying time to decide how to break up with me, so I left before she could."

Fez gestured to the suitcase that, Hyde just noticed, had spilled out all over the basement floor next to the outside door; it must have been the source of the noise that caused him to leave the relative comfort of his room for this awkward conversation. Once Hyde looked closer at the mess and saw what Fez's idea of a "runaway" suitcase was, it was the last straw; Hyde knew that he couldn't hold it in anymore. He started laughing.

And laughing.

He stopped laughing just long enough sneak in a breath, and then he laughed some more; he just couldn't help it.

Fez was shocked. Even though he knew that Hyde would laugh, Fez had seen him as high as a kite and hadn't known that his friend was capable of such an outburst. It was finally starting to sink in that his relationship with Jackie just might have been one big joke to his friends.

When Hyde finally was able to stop laughing, and was completely out of breath, he looked up to see Fez standing over him, looking hurt. "Are you done now, you dumb son-of-a-bitch?" All Hyde could do was nod because he still felt winded.

Finally feeling like Hyde was capable of listening to him again, Fez sank down onto the couch to study his shoes. "So to answer your earlier question, I left her for good. And now that I have shamed my beautiful goddess by confessing this unfortunate turn of events to you, of all people, I must never see her again." Looking up at Hyde, he was trying to decide if it had sunk in with him yet why Jackie and Fez's relationship had failed. After a moment of looking into Hyde's eyes, which, for once, actually weren't covered by his sunglasses, Fez just shook his head. His friend didn't get it and probably never would. Fortuantely enough, it would soon no longer be Fez's problem.

Hyde was starting to feel a little creeped out by Fez's attentions, so he decided to startle him by biting his head off. "What?" Fez jumped out of his chair, went over to his toppled suitcase and started to re-fill it. While he was doing that, Hyde became painfully aware of the absence of his glasses, and he was grateful that imperceptive Fez was the one that had been sitting across from him just now. He briefly wondered if Fez was capable of reading his thoughts through his eyes; there was one person that seemed to be able to. Quickly giving his head a violent shake, he resolved to stop from thinking about it. He wasn't going to chance thinking her name without his eyes securely covered by his glasses.

If it weren't for those glasses, his damn eyes would give him away every time. He wasn't going to think about the fact that she was going to be single again, or that he was single at the same time. And he damn well wasn't going to think about why the fuck he was even thinking about any of it, in the first place. He was better off not letting himself think at all, let alone about _any_ of _that_ stuff, with someone else in the room; even if it was Fez.

He strode over to Fez and slapped his friend on the back. "Well, Fez, my man, I was rudely awakened by this loud foreign guy that spilled his suitcase... near my bedroom... before eight in the morning... so I am going to go back to my room and we will continue laughing about this later." Giving him his usual cocky smirk, he stated loudly, "And when I say we, I mean I."

Fez was still looking at him weird, like he was waiting for him to say something more. "If you want, you can crash on the couch, I guess, but I am going back to sleep." He stopped himself from twisting that last word with sarcasm just in time. Considering he wasn't asleep in the first place, there was no way in hell he would be able to sleep with all the new information Fez had implanted in his brain. His head was buzzing with thoughts that he knew weren't going to leave him alone.

After Hyde stalked back to his room, Fez yawned. Realizing he hadn't slept at all last night, he considered taking Hyde's suggestion of staying. After about a moment's debate about whether he should immediately leave town or not, he walked over and curled up on the basement couch. After a little nap he would be better equipped to find a way out of the tiny town and far from the mistakes he had made with Jackie.

Back in Hyde's room, he was all set to resume his sleeplessness, but then he actually felt tired when he lay down on his bed. With the small chance that he might get some sleep, he released a relieved sigh. The only alternative to sleeping had been thinking and God knew that was the last thing that he could handle at the moment. Maybe a little sleep would make some sense of things and chase the delirious need to ponder Jackie's situation from his head.

So once again the basement was quiet; and it would stay that way; at least it would for the next three hours or so.

**

* * *

Jackie and Fez's Apartment**

**Tuesday, January 1, 1980 - 10:15 am**

Jackie was tossing and turning in her bed, trying to go back to sleep; she hadn't fallen asleep until 4 or 5 am and she knew she hadn't slept long enough. Grabbing the pillow on the other side of the bed, she stuffed it down over her head to block out the light and gagged at the smell of cologne on it. She threw the offending pillow across the room and opened her eyes to look over at her clock radio only to realize that it wasn't in its place on her nightstand. Her eyes traveled to where her smelly pillow laid on the floor and found the clock radio lying next to it. She looked at the pillow and the clock, in a heap with her perfect party outfit crumpled on the floor...

And she remembered.

"_Oh, God..._" She groaned aloud, realizing that she had to go find Fez and break up with him. She slowly slipped out of bed to walk over to her dresser and stopped when she was hit by a huge headache. With the multiple reasons that could have caused the pain, she didn't question its existence, just its origin. It could be from the Champagne, or the stress of fighting with Fez last night, or from the thought that she was about to break her Best Friend's heart. Wait, not _Best Friend_, she was about to break her_ Boyfriend's_ heart. Sighing, she knew that she had never really thought of Fez as her boyfriend; more like a Best Friend that she could make out with, not that the making out part had ever gone well. She had no idea what she would say to him now, or if he would ever forgive her.

When she reached her dresser, she grabbed one of her least cute outfits; she didn't want to rub it in too hard. After dressing herself, quickly applying her make-up and styling her hair, she opened her bedroom door to face the consequences of her uncharacteristic stupidity. Rolling her eyes at herself, she silently berated her head for thinking she could have been in love with Fez. After all, he _is_ a foreigner; she should have known that this would happen.

Walking down the short hallway, she reached her hand up and knocked on Fez's door. When she wasn't answered, she opened the door, figuring that he was still asleep. The empty bed, which lay stripped of its sheets, greeted her and made it abundantly clear that he wasn't in his room. When her journey brought her into the empty living room followed by an equally unoccupied kitchen, she was so frustrated that she almost didn't see the note. It was hanging on the fridge from her favorite magnet complete with chocolate stains from Fez's hands. She reached out and gingerly took the note from where it hung, rubbing it gently between her fingers. Knowing that she probably wasn't going to like what was written there, she forced her eyes open to read it.

_

* * *

My Darling Jackie,_

_You know that I love you dearly, but after the events of last night, _

_I have come to the conclusion that we were not meant to be together._

_I know that this may come as a shock, but I think that it would only _

_be a matter of time before we realized the mistake that we made._

_You will forever be my goddess, and the light in every room,_

_but I would be kidding myself if I thought that after what happened_

_I still deserve to be with an angel like you._

_I will love you always, my princess,_

_Your Fez_

_P.S. You will never find me... so please don't try._

* * *

He was gone. Jackie dropped the note onto the counter, shocked that he had just left her without saying goodbye; this was an unusual twist. Her stunned voice broke the silence in the room. "I, Jacquelyn Beulah Burkhart, have been dumped... by Fez." The awe in her voice changed to one of righteous indignation as she slammed a fist down on the kitchen counter. "HOW DARE HE?!" She was really angry and all she wanted to do was pummel him into the floor, through the core of the earth, and back to whatever poor, foreign country he came from. If only she knew where he was; he didn't know anyone else in town but her, Donna, Eric, and... 

Steven.

The fact that her shout would probably wake Fenton downstairs didn't even cross her mind as she cursed. "Holy shit! He's gone to Steven!"

After a realization like that, not even Superman could have beaten Jackie out the door.

* * *

**A/N:** I remember laughing through writing this and I hope you laughed while reading it. Let me know if I succeeded in tickling your funny bone, huh? 


	4. Fireworks & Shattered Illusions

**A/N: Sorry this took me so long to edit and post, I've been having some computer issues. :_rolls eyes_: Computers: you can't live with 'em... and, well, you know how that goes. Between technical difficulties and school really revving up, I've been about to tear my hair out. This chapter is where everything starts to really move, so all of you who are waiting on pins and needles for our couple to star****t showing their true colors should be a _little_ happy. But only a little. Can't give everything away so early, now, can I? Have fun reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from That 70's Show. The people who did screwed them up and left them for loyal fans like me to fix them.**

**Rated T: Some very dirty language (Not just from Hyde this time!**

******

* * *

**

The Masquerade of Indifference 

Chapter 3**

* * *

Tuesday, January 1, 1980 - 10:21 am**

**The Forman Basement**

Hyde heard Eric's footsteps on the stairs as he entered the basement only two hours after he had fallen asleep. Realizing he was probably going to be disturbed, he had groaned, rolled over, pulled his blanket over his head and attempted to fall back to sleep. Falling back to sleep, it came to him in a flash why he was so fucking tired; Jackie and Fez, bad sex, break-up, Fez sleeping on the couch and the fact that it was inevitable that Jackie would come to the basement looking for him. His popped his eyes and was suddenly wide awake. Throwing his blanket off of himself, he got up, walked over to his clothes, and quickly dressed while he chuckled to himself. Hopefully he hadn't slept through the fireworks.

Once Hyde was fully dressed, he opened his bedroom door and ambled out into the basement den. He scratched his head when he discovered that everyone was there except Donna. Fez was sitting on lawn chair, animatedly telling the story that he had woken Hyde up early in the morning to hear, yet waited to tell everyone else. Deciding that no one had noticed him yet, he crept up the basement stairs to use the phone, making sure not to touch the step that creaks near the top.

Making his way from the basement doorway to the kitchen, he walked over to the phone and picked it up, quickly dialing Donna's number and hoping that she was awake. When the phone started ringing, he was tapping his foot and silently willing her to pick up the phone; he knew that she wouldn't want to miss this.

Besides, Jackie might need her, right? He ran his hand through his bed head hair and tried to forget that he was actually being semi-considerate.

He slammed his fist against the counter top, grumbling his frustration in a harsh whisper. "_Fuck, Donna, pick up the damn phone!_"

And she did. "Hello?" Donna said cheerfully; she had always been a morning person and it annoyed the shit out of Hyde.

He took a deep breath. "It's Hyde." She started to say something, but he cut her off. "I don't have much time. Jackie and Fez broke up and he slept in the basement last night. Apparently, they had the worst sex ever... twice..." He heard Donna stifle a giggle, "And he ran away, _here_, to wake _me_ up and tell _me_, for whatever reason. I think you should get over here; Jackie isn't here yet, but she'll probably figure out where he went any minute..." Silence. "Donna?" There was no answer on the other end of the phone, but he tried again. "Hello? Donna?"

"What, Hyde?" Her voice answered from behind him, so Hyde slammed the phone down and whirled around.

He smirked at her. "Did you hear what I said?" He hoped that she did; he didn't feel as up to repeating it as he thought he would be. This is something that he should want burn the short-lived couple about from the roof tops, but for some reason his head wasn't in it today. He planned to change that. Hyde walked over to the fridge, grabbed a beer, and chugged it, hoping that it would be just enough alcohol to get him buzzing again. He still had some in his system from last night's party.

Donna just grinned at him. "Yeah, I heard you." She started walking toward the basement. "You coming or what?" Rounding a corner, the redhead disappeared down the stairs.

Hyde had tossed his empty beer can in the trash and was standing over the can, about to follow Donna, when he heard wet tires squeak against the salted winter roads. He felt a satisfied grin spread across his face as he raced down the basement stairs, but made sure that it was lost to Zen before he reached the bottom. "Did a car just pull up?" He looked at around at their faces and noticed that his foreign friend was missing. "Where's Fez?"

Kelso was the one who answered him. "He is _soo_ scared of Jackie!" He shrugged to himself. "Not that I blame him. He ran and hid in your room, man." His finger was pointing in the direction that he had indicated, like Hyde didn't completely understand. Kelso laughed out loud. "Hyde, I hope you don't have any porn in there.'Cause if you do, you'll probably want to move out."

Hyde ignored his idiot friend as he walked over to his chair to sit down. For the first time, he noticed that the old television set was on and "_The Price is Right_" was playing with the sound turned down. Something that wouldn't normally be strange, except everyone was staring at the door, waiting for a petite brunette to walk through it, ignoring the show. Hyde decided that he would stare at the silent game show instead of the door like everyone else and prepare himself for the burns that would rain down on Jackie as soon as she walked through the basement door.

He knew that they would be wicked, and he wanted to make sure his really hurt.

**

* * *

Tuesday, January 1, 1980 - 11:00 am**

**Forman Driveway - Jackie's Car**

Jackie slammed her hands down against the wheel of the car. "DAMN IT!" Sitting there, in the Forman's driveway, trying to catch her breath, she couldn't find the courage to get out of her car and walk into the basement to face all of her friends. She knew that they were all there, their cars were lining the street, and it was certain that they were waiting for her and her reaction.

Everyone had gathered here to see Hurricane Jackie rain down her anger on her foreign ex-boyfriend for dumping her and she would be happy to oblige, except she wasn't mad anymore. Well, that wasn't exactly true; she was FURIOUS that he came here, to Steven, and that is the reason why walking through that door was such a terrifying prospect.

Her body was shuddering in the car, which only a few moments ago was warm from the heat, but had cooled since she had the turned off the engine. The problem was that she wasn't shivering from the cold; she had the chills because she could envision exactly the laughing look of hatred that she would see in her evil ex's eyes, down to the last detail. The image of his sadistically amused face was the reason that she was still in the relative safety of her car. 

She couldn't stand the fact that Steven had been right and she wanted to avoid him rubbing her face in her mistake as long as possible. The fact that her most recent ex-boyfriend had run to him and, knowing Fez, told him every minute detail, was just icing on the cake for Steven. And she knew that he would be merciless; he had never been capable of compassion, not even when she had begged him for it.

Huffing out a breath, she couldn't help but notice that it was visible in the chilly air. "Come on, Jackie, get it together!" Berating herself for her timidity, she eyed herself in her review mirror. "Just go beat Fez's ass for telling Steven and you will feel better..." Sighing, her personal pep-talk came to a grinding halt. "No matter how Steven looks at you." Well, that really worked.

Rallying all of her courage, raising her walls, and rubbing her cold arms through her sweater, she grabbed her purse and reached over to open her car door. Climbing out of the car, she stood up, quietly closed the car door, and started walking toward the outside basement stairs. Knowing that everyone would hear her as soon as her healed boots hit the top step, she steeled her resolve to not take any crap from anybody.

When she walked down the steps and touched the doorknob, the voices she expected to hear voices from inside were absent. It was quiet as she turned the knob and stepped through the door to take the heat for her actions.

Everyone was staring at her, except Steven; his eyes were glued to the floor in front of the television set. She looked around the room, at the faces of her friends, and noticed that one perverted foreign ex was missing.

Jackie's blood began to boil as she took a deep breath. "Where is he?" She breathed quietly and they continued to stare at her as if she hadn't spoken, the dumbasses. Stamping her right foot into the ground, she tried to look authoritative. "Where IS he?!" Her volume severely amplified this time as she fixed her most serious glare on each person, every one of which who was staring at her as if she had three heads. "If someone doesn't tell me right now, I will call the fashion police and have you ALL arrested!" 

She heard a growl from the other side of the room. These past few months, Jackie learned that it was really a wicked laugh; one that Hyde had adopted since they had broken up and it usually preceded a burn meant especially for her. He was now looking at her and his menacing eyes were bursting with hatred for her, even through his sunglasses.

Stealing herself for his verbal assault, she tried not to let him see her shiver.

"Would you go shut that JACKASS up?" There was that growling laugh again. "He woke me up at 7:30 this morning to tell me _all _about the awful sex that the two of you had last night." Hyde removed his glasses, and Jackie was sure that she must be a pile of ashes by now, with the fire that was shooting from his eyes. "I told Hyde!" Hyde's voice had become high pitched and he had adopted an accent that bore an amazing resemblance to Fez. "I have shamed my beautiful Goddess and I must never see her again!" She could practically hear Hyde's eyes roll as finished his impression of Fez and he pointed toward his own bedroom. "Would you go kill him so I can have my room back?" He spat out at her before he let out a low, bone chilling, laugh. "Just try not to sleep with him again before you do, because _we all know _how well that blew up in your face." 

Jackie just stood there, staring at him and was shocked as everyone laughed at Hyde's long string of vicious burns. She stalked off to her satanic ex's bedroom and angrily burst through the door, surprised when it didn't fly off the hinges.

When she got a good look at the tiny grey room that she has spent the majority of her last two years of high school in, she was floored. It was exactly the same, except Fez was sitting on the old cot, looking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He stood up and just stared at her. Not bothering to close the door, and not waiting for him to talk first, she crossed the room, pulled her right arm back, and slapped him across the face. HARD.

He recoiled from her and stared at her like a beaten puppy, but still didn't say anything. Jackie knew that it wasn't really his slap to take, but Steven had given her the anger that she had unwittingly wished for, and unfortunately for Fez, he was going to take Steven's punishment.

Jackie considered hitting Fez again, it had felt so good, but she decided that it wouldn't be fair to him. She didn't want to completely lose her best friend over this, but she still wanted to yell; so she clenched her hands into fists and let out her every frustration. "YOU DILLHOLE! How dare you put me through this shit?! How dare YOU dump ME? Where do you fucking GET OFF?!" 

Fez looked shocked at her use of language, but she continued her tirade, stomping the ground with her right foot occasionally accentuating her words. "And why does it surprise me that you are such a DAMN COWARD that you write me a FUCKING NOTE to do it?!" He was still just staring at her, just taking the verbal beating that she was giving him and it pissed her off even more. "And then, as if you hadn't done ENOUGH, you tell STEVEN?!" Her pulse was racing, her face was hot, and her pitch rose with every word she said, but it was exhilarating to get everything off her mind. "ANSWER ME, YOU DUMBASS!" Her heart was pounding so loud in her ears that she was surprised that she even heard him when he began to speak quietly.

"You have every right to be angry with me." He dejectedly collapsed down to sit on the cot as he spoke and visibly steadied himself by gripping the edge of the frame. "I should have waited until you woke up. After I left, when I realized that I didn't have anywhere to go, I should have gone back to the apartment and just waited for you, my princess." Jackie felt her heart start to soften when he used his nickname for her. "I should have let you break up with me; it would have been the gentlemanly thing to do." He was looking in her eyes, begging for her to calm down, and it was working. "And I'm sorry I told Hyde. I don't know why I did it..." She walked over, placed her purse on the floor, and sat next to him. It was difficult to not take offense when he flinched, no doubt remembering her slap, as she attempted to take his hand.

He turned his head and matched her gaze. "I'm so sorry I wasn't your perfect prince, Jackie, I wanted to be him for you, so badly."

She felt like crying as she looked into his eyes; why had she let Hyde rile her up so much that she would be capable of hurting Fez? "Why do you insist on agreeing with me when I want to argue, Fezzie?" She put her forehead to his shoulder and sighed. "I'm sorry I hit you." Pulling away, she looked up, into his eyes, "I don't know what came over me."

The look on his face was unreadable, but familiar and she placed it. That was the way that he had studied her in the weeks following her break-up with Hyde; his reaction every time she had told him that she didn't care what Steven did. He was looking at her like he knew how she felt better than she did and it was extremely unsettling. She squirmed a little before shrugging it off, and decided she would ask him about it later.

"I really am sorry, Fez... can you forgive me?" Her free hand gently patted the hand that she held while she spoke shyly. "I really don't want to lose my best friend over a dumb mistake... oh, plus I don't want to have to interview for a new roommate."

When Fez let out a little chuckle, she felt hopeful as he spoke. "I wouldn't want you to have to do that; it would be much too tiring for you, my sweet." He removed his hand from hers, and wrapped his arms around her in a friendly hug where, for once, he wasn't trying to cop a feel. "And I know that bastard son of a drunk bitch probably did his best to rip you to shreds before you came in here. I know you weren't really yelling at me." A thoughtful expression crossed his face, "Just promise me that you will slap _him_ that hard someday, and I will consent to staying your roommate and best friend." Pulling out of the hug, he looked into her eyes. "Friends?"

Now it was Jackie's turn to giggle, and she was surprised how alien it felt to laugh. She gave Fez a friendly peck on the cheek. "Friends... and I promise, one of these days, I will lose control and you will find him by the side of the road with tread marks up his back." Throwing her head back to laugh again, her heart swelled with happiness when Fez joined in. "Of course, I'll have to borrow the Vista Cruiser... I wouldn't want to ruin my car by killing Steven." They continued to laugh for a few carefree minutes, but when their jovial moment ended, Fez stood up.

"Are you ready to go face them?" He asked her gently, looking concerned for her. She was suddenly reminded why he was her best friend in the first place, mentally kicking herself for almost losing that.

Shaking her head slightly, she studied her nails. "No, I think I'll sit here for another minute... you know, prepare myself for the teasing." She smiled half-heartedly up at him. "You go ahead... I'll be right out." He didn't look too certain that he should leave, but he turned from her and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

A few seconds later, while she was scrutinizing the dirty floor, she heard Fez in the other room as he practically shouted, "_Watch out Ladies, I am SINGLE! Who wants a piece of Fez? Donna?"_ And she couldn't help but chuckle as she visualized Donna hitting him or insulting him. Sitting on the cot, thinking about what she had almost lost because of her innate fear of being alone, she sighed as she stared at the wall across from her. What had she been thinking, risking the only true friend she had left?

She looked around her evil ex's room and suddenly felt extremely nosy. "_I shouldn't..._" Whispering to the empty room, her eyes darted back and forth a few times before she shrugged. "When has that ever stopped me?"

Gingerly, she started rifling through Steven's drawers, finding nothing of interest. At least until she opened the one directly above where he laid his malice-filled head. There, under a tin filled with what she assumed was a secret circle stash, she found a dirty, worn, white envelope with the name "_Jackie_" written on it in Steven's handwriting.

Her hands were shaking as she opened the fragile envelope and pulled out the ratty piece of paper inside. Silently praying that it would be both an evil rant and a loving confession, she gently unfolded a letter dated a little over a month ago, with her name at the top. Lightly running her fingers over his sloppy, yet familiar, handwriting, she began to read.

_

* * *

Jackie,_

_I can't believe I'm sitting here, writing this, but I guess it's okay because I'm the only one who will ever read it. The problem with that is, I'm actually afraid to admit most of this stuff to myself. Yeah. Afraid. I've always hated that word. _

_When I saw you today, in the driveway talking to Donna about your feelings for Fez, I was very happy to burn you about how Bob, the garbage man, and the garden gnome across the street were still options for you for when Fez didn't work out. I expected you to look hurt, like you have the last few months, but you walked away like nothing had happened._

* * *

Jackie looked up from the letter, at an especially filthy spot on the grey wall across from her. Remembering that day, only a few weeks ago, she thought of how much it had hurt to hear the words coming out of his mouth. The ones that mirrored her fear that her relationship with Fez would fail. She also recalled how surprised she was that she still cared about his opinion and how her face had betrayed nothing about the injury he caused her by uttering those words. 

She grudgingly turned her eyes back down to the tattered piece of notebook paper in her hands and continued reading, entranced and afraid at what his letter would admit.

_

* * *

So, the truth is, I am trying to feel upset that Sam left, but all I can think about is your reaction_ _to a burn and why I would care. The weird thing is, I do still care and thinking about how you are already over me and moved onto the next guy is, well, killing me. _

_The day I found you and Kelso in Chicago, I was going to ask you to be my wife. When I went to Vegas, I still thought that we would get through it. But the day that Sam walked in the door, revealing the dumbest mistake I'd ever made and you stormed out of the room, I decided that it was over for us. I knew there was no way that you would ever forgive me. _

_When Sam left, I started to secretly think we had a chance of working things out. I knew that I had been an absolute dick to you since she came into town, but I was prepared for the begging that I would have to do to get you back. Now it looks like my Zen __and my dumbass show of indifference has come back to bite me in the ass again. Who could have seen that coming?_

_Now I'm back to your feelings for Fez and how I can't believe that we're actually over. It doesn't feel __like it's possible that I'll never kiss you or hold your hand or make love to you again (yeah, I said it.) _

* * *

Tears welled up in Jackie's eyes and she looked down at the floor in a vain attempt to blink them away, not noticing that one had fallen down onto the letter. She couldn't believe her eyes and, if she didn't know his handwriting so well, she would have never believed that he had actually written a word of it. It just didn't seem possible. 

Tearing her eyes from the floor and back to the letter, she was determined to finish it, uncaring to the fact that she could be caught.

_

* * *

I'm shocked knowing that I will never be your Puddin' Pop again and that my heart was actually able __to be broken and that, in the end, it was my own damn fault. How is it that you're completely over me when I will never be completely over you?_

_I'll love you forever,_

_Steven_

_Note to self: __**No one**__ will ever read this._

* * *

Jackie, with tears rolling down her face, choked back a loud, strangled sob as she shakily re-folded the eye opening letter and shoved it back into its envelope. As she handled it, she was struck by how worn it was for being only a few weeks old. She turned it over and over in her hands, thinking that he must have read it a hundred times for it to be in this condition. He probably couldn't believe that he wrote it, he had to read it again and again just to convince his stubborn self that he had. 

Just as she opened the drawer to put the letter back, she heard footsteps coming toward the basement bedroom. She quickly shoved the letter into the drawer where she found it, under the circle tin, and that was when she saw it. A picture of her, the one that she had put in his room when she had re-decorated it, was lying, frame-less, under the tin.

Her already tear streaked face fell into her hands; the letter and that one picture's existence completely shattered the illusion that he hated her. The idea that she had clung to for so long to help her heart survive the hell that she had been living the past few months.

Shocked sobs racked her body and a fresh batch of tears rolled down her cheeks as someone turned the doorknob to open the door.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, now don't all try to kill me at once. I know it's a cliff-hanger, but it's just fun that way. :D Hopefully the next chapter will be up in two or three days and I'll get to stay alive.**


	5. Something Has Got to Give

**A/N: **I've given up on editing the chapters before re-posting; it's just taking me too long. :D Please forgive me for how long this took, I have the next chapter uploaded already, so it will follow this one in a few days. Enjoy!

**Original A/N: **Okay, guys... I am ready to end your suspense! LOL. This chapter became something totally different than I intended. I didn't accomplish what I had set out to do, so that will be in the next chapter, I went into too much detail with this one and I didn't want it to be too long. After a couple edits, I think I finally got it right. And if I didn't... oh, well. I don't want to stress about it anymore. If you like it, please review... even if it is one word. If you don't like it... constructive critism will be appreciated, flames will not. I wanna know. I tried really hard on this, so I hope you guys like it.

Special, _Special, SPECIAL, _"Thank You" to Luvcali, Tanith, Heatherlea, ZenKindofLove, and Debbie for your extremely valuable advice! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from That 70's Show... yet, the people who did screwed them up and left them for loyal fans like me to fix them.**

**Rated T: Some very dirty language (Hyde _is_ in this story)**

**

* * *

**

**The Masquerade of Indifference**

Chapter Four**

* * *

Tuesday, January 1, 1980 - 12:00 pm**

**Forman Basement**

Hyde was an outward picture of calm; his arms were folded over his chest, his face was devoid of expression, and he was staring blankly at the television. The only thing about his current appearance that didn't project complete tranquility was the fact that his foot was tapping... and he couldn't make it stop. It had been fifteen minutes since Fez had burst out of Hyde's bedroom, proclaiming his single status to the highest hills, and the fact that Jackie hadn't followed him made Hyde very nervous. He could only imagine what she was doing in there and nothing that he imagined was good; she could be throwing things, crying hysterically, or just sitting on _his bed_, waiting for someone to come check on her. The fact that he didn't know was driving him crazy.

He took a quick look around the basement den area at his friends and decided they had completely forgotten about the drama that was unfolding. Eric and Donna were sitting together on the couch, snuggled up close and talking softly, and Kelso was sitting in the lawn chair that Fez usually occupied staring at the television. Fez had already left the basement, saying something about having a headache and wanting to go back to his apartment for some peace and quiet. No one else seemed to remember that Jackie was in Hyde's room, possibly in full breakdown mode. She had been in there too long; he wanted his room back before she screwed it up... or found something that she shouldn't. She had always had a nosy streak.

Hyde loudly cleared his throat, causing the other occupants of the basement to look over at him. "Would someone go get her out of my room so I can go back to sleep?" His eyes never left the television.

Donna was the one who answered him; she looked a little annoyed that he had even asked. "Why don't you just go kick her out? You seem to get off on trying to upset her." She glared at him like she was trying to see what was on the wall behind his head, through his head. "I'd think that you would welcome another chance to make her cry."

Hyde allowed his head to loll over to his left and looked at her. "I don't have the energy right now..." He kept his face expressionless, holding eye contact with her the whole time. "Maybe later."

Donna's glare told him she was considering how best to skin him alive. "I don't know what happened to you, but I do know that it's becoming harder to call you a friend... and a human being." She got up and started slowly walking towards his bedroom.

When Donna was still a few feet from the door, the entire room heard a loud muffled sob and everyone turned their heads to look at Donna as she walked into Hyde's room. Everyone but Hyde; he was still staring at the television, pretending that he didn't care. _I should have known that she was crying... she always cries. I guess I didn't think that she would cry that hard over Fez. _He shook his head at himself, trying to push that thought out of his mind, before the old jealousy completely took control.

**

* * *

Tuesday, January 1, 1980 - 12:08 pm**

**Hyde's Room - Forman Basement**

As the door slowly swung open, Jackie had the slight presence of mind to slam the drawer that she had been snooping through shut. She didn't look to see who had entered, she just buried her head back into her hands and continued crying. She felt the cot slightly sink when her visitor sat down next to her and she tried not to jump when two arms wrapped around her, bringing her brunette head to a shoulder covered in dyed Blond hair.

The two old friends just sat there for another minute, embracing, as Jackie attempted to shut off the tears and get her breathing back to normal. The last time that Donna comforted her like this was when Steven slept with that skanky nurse, when he mistakenly assumed that Jackie was cheating on him with Kelso. Even though the two hadn't been exactly allies these past few months, it felt good to have her friend back, even if it was only for these few moments... when she needed her most. Even if Donna had no idea why she was crying and why she need her so badly.

Once she had regained a small grip on her emotions, she just looked into Donna's sympathetic face. Trying not to remember how she had treated her, betrayed her, Jackie finally broke the vocal silence. "Why?"

Donna continued to look at her. "Why what, Jackie?" She asked softly. "Why didn't things work out with you and Fez?" She shrugged. "I don't have the answer to that."

Jackie shook her head. "Why am I supposed to be alone?" Her eyes, filling with fresh tears, drifted to the floor. "Fez was supposed to be perfect for me, yet here I am, alone again." She choked back a slight sob and looked back into Donna's pitying eyes. "What is so wrong with me? Am I going to be alone forever?"

Donna took a deep breath and tried to sound confident. "Jackie... You and Fez were ju--"

"This isn't about Fez!" Jackie cut her off, sprang out of Donna's arms and began to pace the small room. "This is about me and the fact that I am sick and tired of being alone. Sure, Fez wasn't really what I wanted, what I thought he could be for me. So, what?" She stopped and looked at Donna, whose pinched face betrayed that she thought Jackie had gone off her rocker. "I've tried everything! Being the spoiled princess, falling head over heels for someone that is all wrong for me, making a list..." She let her voice trail off, then whispered fiercely, "_SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE_!" A single tear slowly dropped down her right cheek and off of her chin. "Why me?" She looked at the sad smile on Donna's face with pleading eyes and sunk back down onto the cot next to her, placing her head in her hands. "Why does everyone leave _me_?" She whispered.

Donna threw an arm around Jackie and a shocked looked came over her face as it sunk in. Jackie had been through a hell of a year and the group had slowly fallen apart, scattering. Finally Donna understood; the closest thing that Jackie had ever had to a family were her friends and the Formans. When Hyde "broke up" with her, Sam moved in, and everyone started moving away, Jackie's world had come crashing down on her. Dating Fez would have been a last ditch effort to hold on to her friends and by failing to hold on to someone, she had failed to be loved. Donna glanced down at her depressed friend and she was ashamed to know that she was guilty of leaving Jackie, as well. _Damn Sam! I should have been on Jackie's side and kicked Sam's ass for being so evil to her instead of trying to get along with her for Hyde's sake. I was so wrapped up in my own crap that I didn't see how much she was hurting. I may kick my own ass._

"I chose the wrong friend." Donna barely had whispered, but when Jackie's face turned out of her tear-soaked hands, Donna knew that Jackie had heard her... and she looked extremely confused.

"What are you talking about, Donna?" Jackie asked and scooted a little closer to Donna, feeling kinda hopeful for some reason.

Donna smiled at her. "I must have had my head up my ass for the past few months, because I just now realized what's bothering you." Donna reached out and pulled Jackie in for a hug. "I'm sorry you feel like everyone is leaving you behind." She pulled back and looked into Jackie's eyes, now glossy with new tears. "I'm sorry for pushing you to date Fez... and I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure out what a bitch I've been." Donna watched as a cascade of tears slid down Jackie's cheeks and she knew that she had hit the nail on the head. "I'm so sorry for being the worst friend in history... especially when you have always been there for me. I have so much to make up for."

Jackie knew her face was drenched in tears and she probably looked like she had been hit by a truck, but she hadn't felt this good in months. She smiled at Donna through her tears. "Oh, Donna..." She pulled her into a hug and spoke over her shoulder. "Can you be more specific?" She felt Donna laugh so Jackie pulled back, trying to put a tight smile on her face. "Seriously?"

"I guess I deserve this." Donna put her hands on Jackie's shoulders and took a deep breath.. "Okay. After you and Hyde broke up and I tried to be friends with Sam," Donna thought she saw Jackie wince at the home-wrecker's name, but decided not to read into it and continued. "I was trying to support Hyde when I should have been wiping the floor with _both_ of them for the way that they treated you." Jackie burst out laughing and Donna couldn't help but chuckle herself. "You seemed fine so I didn't think that there was anything wrong with what I was doing. I was waiting for you to go Kung Fu on her ass the way you did on Laurie back in the day, but now I realize you were trying not to let your jackass ex see how much you were hurting. You were trying to turn his Zen around on him and instead you fooled everyone... even me, who should've known better. Does that about cover it?"

Jackie had a serious look on her face. "Well, I'm still mad at you..." Then she threw her arms around Donna. "But I think I have my lumberjack back!" She felt Donna squeeze her. "You're right about everything. Especially about how you have a lot to make up to me!"

Donna burst out laughing and sat back to look at her best friend. "That's the midget we all know and love. Now, why do I get the feeling we are going to be spending a lot of time at the mall?" Donna noticed that Jackie now looked more exhausted than mad. _She's still upset, but at least my groveling cheered her up a little. _She stood up and looked down at Jackie. "But enough with the drama, already! Do you wanna get outta here?" She held out her hand to help Jackie up.

Jackie sighed, suddenly extremely tired, and grabbed Donna's outstretched hand. "Yeah... but I think I'm going to go home and take a nap. It's been a long day." She chuckled as Donna pulled her up. "Thank you... for everything. I probably would have been in here forever if you hadn't come to check on me. Plus, apologies almost always cheer me up!" She smiled as Donna pulled her into a quick hug and let go. "I'm just going to powder my nose before going out there."

Donna nodded. "I'll see you later, then... Midget."

Jackie let out a little giggle. "Not if I see you first, Lumberjack!" Jackie watched as Donna laughed and walked out the door.

Jackie bent down to retrieve her purse from the floor and set it on Hyde's bed while she rifled through it for her compact. After quickly touching up her make-up, she placed the compact back in it's pocket and was about to sling her purse over her shoulder when she had an evil thought. She opened her bag and found her signature perfume, turning the bottle over in her hands. _This time I really shouldn't..._ She removed the cap from the bottle and spritzed his pillow with it anyway. _So what if he's finally pining over me! After the way he treated me, he isn't above being tortured. _She felt an evil grin start spread across her face as she placed the cap back onto the bottle, then her eyes fell on the drawer that held his secrets and her face sunk. _Oh, he is such an idiot._

She tore her eyes away from the drawer and dropped the perfume back into her purse. After grabbing her bag and throwing it over her shoulder, she walked through Hyde's bedroom door and into the basement with her head held high.

When she reached the basement den, she saw Steven, Eric, Donna, and Kelso sitting around the spool that served as their coffee table. There was incense burning and the lights were turned down low... it was obviously Circle time. She briefly considered joining, but decided against it; she hadn't felt right in the Circle for a long time. The Circle was mainly Steven's thing and she was just too tired right now to try getting along with him. Even though she really could use a joint after the day she'd had.

She walked past the small group and stopped briefly, turning her head toward them when she reached the door. "I'm going to go home... I'll see you guys later." She reached her hand out for the doorknob, not waiting for anyone's answer.

"Hey, Jackie," It was Steven, so she continued to stare out the window on the door. From the sinister tone of his voice, she could tell he definitely wasn't going to invite her to join them.

"Yeah, Hyde?" Man, she looked tired; Hyde could tell even though her profile was all that he could see. He almost lost the will to burn her... almost.

He laced as much contempt into his voice as he could. "I was wondering, now that you and Fez are over, are you going to try and sink your claws into Eric? 'Cause I think that Donna might have a problem with that." She was still staring at the damn door, the color gone from her face, not even bothering to look at him... so he decided to finish her off. "Or have you finally gotten the point: that no one can stand to be near you?" It must have been the kill stroke because he watched, from across the room, as her eyelids fluttered and one perfect tear rolled down her sallow cheek. He nearly regretted his words as she flung the outside door open and ran through it without closing it behind her.

From out of nowhere, a fat J. C. Penney catalog flew from Donna's direction and into the side of his head. When his head snapped in her direction, the look on Donna's face said that she was ready to rip him a new one. She stood up and glared at him, taking a step forward and shaking a fist at him.

"You fucking bastard." She took a deep breath, preparing to let the hate fly. "Don't you think that you have done enough to her?" The contempt she felt for his actions flowed from the words of her mouth to his ears. She lowered her voice, her body shaking from trying to control herself. "You piece of shit." He flinched under her intense gaze and he decided that he needed to get out of there, even if it _was_ a Forman thing to do.

Before Donna could say anything else, Hyde got up and stalked off to his room, slamming the door behind him. He walked over toward his cot, removing his sunglasses as he walked and placed them on his nightstand. Sitting down on his bed and kicking off his boots, he reached his right hand up to rub the bump on his head. _Donna is defending Jackie... she and Jackie must have made up. I don't think that she has ever been that pissed at me before. Well, at least she's protecting her again. I mean, I did make Jackie cry. _He laid down and pulled the covers over himself, staring at the ceiling. _I didn't think she cared enough to cry anymore._

He reached up and turned off the lamp on his beside table before he noticed it. He sniffed the air and sighed. _Damn it, Jackie... why the hell did she have have her breakdown in here? The whole place smells like her!_ He secretly reveled in the smell of her perfume, even though his brain wouldn't let him admit it. Rolling over onto his side, he closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep.

**

* * *

Tuesday, January 1, 1980 - 12:43 pm**

**Forman Driveway - Jackie's Car**

Jackie had made it all the way to her car before breaking down again... she had to give herself credit for that. Right now her forehead was pressed to her steering wheel and her hands were holding ten and two in a death grip. She couldn't stop herself from sobbing. _Where did strong, not- going-to-take-crap-from-anybody Jackie from this morning go?_ She let out a mirthless laugh. _Oh, yeah... she dissolved into tears because she couldn't keep her nose out of Steven's business._ She slammed her head back against the headrest and stared at the ceiling of her car, letting out a huge sigh.

She sat in her car for a few more minutes, trying to regain control of her breathing, then turned the key in the ignition. _I'm tired... that's why I'm being such a girl._ She put the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway. _After a few hours of sleep, I'll come back and beat him into the ground._ She shifted to first gear. _Right. Like that's gonna happen._

She gunned the engine and took off down the street toward her apartment, deciding that a glass of wine before that nap would make her feel better. With that in mind, she sped off toward her apartment.

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**A/N:** Let me know what you thought!


	6. Melancholy Music & Tear Stains

**A/N: **Okay, guys! I'm not doing so well with the whole revamping the chapters before re-posting them, so I'm just gonna post them and if I have a chance later, I will fix them. I don't want to keep anyone waiting any longer. For the three anonymous reviewers - Bitch-with-wit, Erin, and PinkBabies - that left me reviews wanting to know the new name of the story "A Lack of Indifference," this is it. I wasn't able to let you know because there was no way for me to contact ya'll. I hope you guys see this.

**Original A/N: **This chapter really got me as far as being really hard to get what I wanted out of it. It's been in my mind since chapter 3 and I really hope you guys get what I wanted you to... it should fill in a lot of holes in the story for you. This is a Hyde-centric chapter, but I think you will appreciate it! Try to listen to the songs on YouTube where I have listed the lyrics, especially if you have never heard them, they really help tell the story.

**Special Thanks** to LuvCali and ZenKindofLove for helping me wrap my head around this!

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from That 70's Show... yet, the people who did screwed them up and left them for loyal fans like me to fix them. I also don't own any song lyrics.**

**Rated T: Some very dirty language (Hyde _is_ in this story)**

****

The Masquerade of Indifference

Chapter Five

** Tuesday, January 1, 1980 - 1:22 pm**

**Fez and Jackie's Apartment - Jackie's Room**

After driving back to her apartment, Jackie had poured herself a large glass of Chardonnay to take with her into her bedroom. Fez was nowhere to be seen, but his bedroom door was closed, so Jackie assumed he was taking a nap. Walking into her darkened bedroom, she placed her glass on her nightstand and sat down on her bed to remove her boots. She reached over to turn on the radio before laying down in bed only to realize that it was still laying on the floor in the corner. She got up and walked over to the ominous pile of evidence from her night with Fez. Reaching down and grabbing both the pillow and last night's party outfit, she threw them into the laundry basket next to her closet.

Picking up the clock radio from it's resting place on the floor, she walked back to her bedside table, set it down, and plugged it in. She sat down on her bed again as "_Hopelessly Devoted to You_" by Olivia Newton-John filled her otherwise empty room.

_But, baby, can't you see  
There's nothing else for me to do?  
I'm hopelessly devoted to you_

Sitting in bed, sipping her wine in the dark, with the melancholy music playing, her mind drifted back to the events of the morning. Her thoughts mostly resting on the contrast between Steven's actions and the feelings that were lain out for her in the letter that she was never supposed to read. Her reaction to the words that she had read was bugging her; it wasn't as if she was pining for him or anything... right? So why did the fact that he could write all those things down but not tell her to her face break her heart all over again?She shook her head at herself and emptied her wineglass.

_But now there's nowhere to hide  
Since you pushed my love aside  
I'm out of my head  
Hopelessly devoted to you_

_Hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you_

Placing her drained glass on the nightstand, she laid her head on her pillow and rolled onto her left side, staring at the wall on the opposite side of her room. Why does she still care? After all he's put her through, why couldn't she just hate him? Any normal person would. She held her hand in front of her mouth as she stifled a yawn. Most of all, why did she let him see her cry? She had sworn to herself that he would never get the satisfaction of seing her cry, and today she had broken that promise to her heart.

_My head is saying, "Fool, forget him."  
My heart is saying, "Don't let go.  
Hold on till the end."  
And that's what I intend to do  
I'm hopelessly devoted to you_

Jackie pulled her covers tightly around her body, suddenly feeling incredibly cold. _I must be the dumbest person in the world to still love a man who tried his best to make me hate him. _Her eyes bugged wide open in the dark. _Love? Where the hell did that come from? _She tucked her left hand under her pillow and tightened her right arm around the repaired Fluffycakes as she felt her eyes start to drift closed.

_But now there's nowhere to hide  
Since you pushed my love aside  
I'm out of my head  
Hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you_

_Hopelessly devoted to you_

Her last thought as she finally drifted off to sleep frightened her more than she thought anything ever could. _No matter how impossible it seems, I'm still in love with Steven... I am so screwed. _While Jackie had finally drifted off to sleep, the radio still played on, getting the final word as the next song began: "_Solitaire"_ by the Carpenters.

** Tuesday, January 1, 1980 – 1:32 pm**

**Forman Basement - Hyde's Room**

Hyde used his left fist to hit the dresser next to his bed; sleeplessness just seemed to be in the cards for him today and he had just given up trying to change that. He sat up and pulled the switch on the lamp above his head. His head was still sore, but he needed to get rid of the silence in his room that had been plaguing him, so he turned on the radio. When the rock song blaring from the speakers only served to get on his nerves instead of quieting them, he changed the station to one that was, actually, one of Jackie's favorites. The considerably softer music started filling the room, saving him from the silence.

_There was a man, a lonely man, _

_who lost his love through his indifference._

_A heart that kept, that went unchecked, _

_until it died within his silence._

When the music coming from the speakers didn't completely kill his head, he decided to leave it on the slow Carpenters song that was playing. "_Solitaire," how appropriate is that? _If anyone caught him listening to this crap, he would have to bury them in the back yard. He laid back towards his pillow and crossed his arms behind his head, cradling his head in his palms against the pillow.

_And Solitaire's the only game in town, _

_and every road that takes him down._

_And by himself, it's easy to pretend, _

_he'll never love again._

His eyes were glued to the ceiling as he listened to the lyrics of the song, amazed that he was actually listening to it and identifying with the words. Feeling unnerved at this display of girlish tendencies, he cleared his throat and sat up again, pulling open one of the drawers on his nightstand.

_And keeping to himself he plays the game,_

_without her love it always ends the same._

_While life goes on around him everywhere, _

_he's playing Solitaire._

Reaching inside the drawer, he pulled out the tin on top of the drawer and opened it. _Yeah, time for an emergency solo circle... that way I have an excuse for listening to this terrible music._ He removed the lid and grabbed a pre-rolled joint and his lighter, placing the lid back on and putting the tin on his bed next to his right knee.

_A little hope goes up in smoke, _

_just how it goes, goes without saying._

_There was a man, a lonely man, _

_who would command the hand he's playing._

He held the joint between the thumb and pointer finger of his left hand and with the lighter in his right hand, put the joint to his lips and lit it, inhaling. Holding the smoke for a few seconds before needing to breathe, he opened his mouth, releasing the smoke and taking a deep breath and pausing slightly to contemplate the lyrics of the song.

_And Solitaire's the only game in town,_

_and every road that takes him down._

_And by himself, it's easy to pretend,_

_he'll never love again_

He had drawn his legs up and was now sitting Indian-style on his bed; he passed the joint from his left hand to his right, placing his left hand on his knee of the same side. He took another long puff on the joint, silently begging the song to end and for a better one to start.

_And keeping to himself he plays the game,_

_without her love it always ends the same._

_While life goes on around him everywhere,_

_he's playing Solitaire._

He looked back down at the tin sitting on the bed next to his right knee, thinking about the day that he had put it into that drawer, the day that he had his first solo circle since he lived with his parents. The day that he decided that a solo circle wouldn't be so bad... if it helped him keep his sanity. Taking one more puff on the joint, he came to the conclusion that he better put it out before he got too carried away.

_And Solitaire's the only game in town,_

_and every road that takes him down._

_While life goes on around him everywhere,_

_he's playing solitaire._

Removing the lid to the tin, he stubbed out the joint and threw both the lighter and joint into the tin, replacing the lid. He grabbed the tin and placed it into the still open drawer, his hand brushing the letter in the bottom of the drawer as the next song started to play on the radio, as if the action had conjured it to. _Oh fuck me..._

_She's out of my life_

_She's out of my life_

As he recognized the very familiar Michael Jackson song, he decided that thinking about the day the tin and, coincidentally, the letter were put into that drawer was going to be inevitable. It wasn't the first time his radio had broadcast this station...

_--- **A Few Weeks Earlier** ---_

_Hyde had stormed into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him, and walked over his radio turning it on. He was so livid, he hadn't realized that he had turned the tuning knob accidentally to Top 40 station instead of his normal rock station. He just didn't care right now; he just needed something to listen to. He needed to get his mind off of what had just happened in the driveway. _

She's out of my life

She's out of my life

"_She has feelings for FEZ?!" He was yelling, his zen forgotten momentarily, asking his empty room a question that it couldn't answer. "And why in HELL DO I CARE?!" He needed to throw something; he sat down on his cot, removed one of his boots and threw it across the room. When that didn't quite help, he did the same with the boot on his right foot. _That makes me feel a little better. _He pulled his newest baggie out of his pocket, reached into the drawer next to his cot for a rolling paper and rolled a joint, thinking to himself, But this'll make me feel a lot better_. _It had been forever since he had felt that an occasion called for a solo circle. As he took a deep puff on his joint, he started to listen to the words of the song on the radio. _

And I don't know whether to laugh or cry

I don't know whether to live or die

And it cuts like a knife

She's out of my life

_Letting the words sing in, he thought back on the afternoon's events and the reason why he was sitting here, smoking weed, all by himself, thinking about how Jackie's moved on_._ His emotional reaction to that startled him and he shook his head, disgusted with himself, wondering Why the fuck didn't_ _he feel like this when Sam left. He took the fingers of his left hand and tore them roughly through his hair. He shouldn't care enough about Jackie to let this upset him._ _He took another drag on the joint in his right hand._

It's out of my hands

It's out of my hands

_He glanced over at the nightstand that the drawer was attached to and saw the pen, envelope and pad of paper that were sitting there. Remembering how they had gotten there and what they had been for._

To think for two years she was here  
And I took her for granted  
I was so cavalier  
Now the way that it stands  
She's out of my hands

_Mrs. Forman had suggested that he write a letter to Sam after she left, to tell her how he was feeling about her departure. She had insisted that it would make him feel better, even if it didn't send it to her... that it would help him to get over her if he let it all out. The problem was, that Sam's leaving didn't upset him... but Jackie caring about someone else did. He took another puff on his joint, stubbed it out in his ashtray, and put it on top of the nightstand, grabbing the notebook and pen._

So I've learned that love's not possession

And I've learned that love won't wait

Now I've learned that love needs expression

But I've learned much too late

_Never one who could easily express his feelings with words, he found it surprisingly easy to write the letter. Even though he wasn't sure he wanted to know what his thoughts were on Jackie and Fez, Hyde started to write; about them, about Chicago, about Sam. He used the end of the pen to scratch his head, then put it back to the paper to finish off the note that Jackie would never read._

And she's out of my life

She's out of my life

_Quickly reading over the letter, he dropped the pen, and reached for the envelope still sitting on the nightstand. He gently folded the letter, stuffed it inside the envelope, and wrote _Jackie_ on the outside, closing it. He quickly decided that Mrs. Forman was wrong, he in no way felt any better._ _He grabbed the pen from where it had been discarded on his bed and threw it across the room as hard as he could. In fact, writing everything down made him even more pissed off... because he knew he had royally screwed up this time._ _He rubbed his eyes with the thumb and forefinger of his left hand and brought them together to pinch the bridge of his nose. He acted like he didn't care about her and now she didn't care about him anymore. He put his head in hands, still clutching the letter in the fingers of his right one._

Damned indecision  
And cursed pride  
Kept my love for her  
Locked deep inside

_Hyde placed the letter in the bottom of the top drawer in the nightstand, on top of the picture of Jackie that he already kept there, and stood up. He walked over to the boxes the Forman's still stored in his room and rooted around in a box of kitchen stuff. When he found a beat up old tin, he brought it over to his bed with him, removed the lid and placed the solo circle paraphernalia into it. Putting the lid on top of the container, he placed the tin on top of the letter in the drawer and closed it._

And it cuts like a knife

She's out of my life

_As he placed the notepad and pen back on top of the nightstand, he reached up and turned the lamp off, crawling into bed as the song ended._

_--- **Present **---_

_And it cuts like a knife_

_She's out of my life_

Shaking himself out of his reverie as the song ended, he reached over and shut off the radio. _If I hear anymore sappy songs today, I may kill myself. _He stuck his hand into the still open nightstand drawer and pulled Jackie's letter out, then closed the drawer. Taking the letter from it's envelope for what felt like the millionth time, he opened it to read his words again... even though he had memorized every letter on the page.

After staring at the letter long enough to recite it in his head, he noticed that something was a little off about the worn piece of paper in his hand. Sure, it was dirty and fading from all the times that he had held it and touched the words with his fingers incredulously; not believing that he wrote it without even knowing he felt that way. That was expected, but he didn't remember ever crying over the letter in his hands... and there was a tear, right there, smudging the words "damn fault" together. His brow furrowed, and his lips pursed together. He would definitely remember crying; he'd never been _that_ stoned when reading it.

Suddenly, his mind flashed back to earlier today... and the fact that Jackie had spent an hour and a half in his room, and that at least 20 minutes of it she was alone. His eyes widened. _It's not possible... _He ran his left hand through his hair, holding the letter in his right. Wasn't she too upset over Fez breaking up with her to go through his stuff? At least that was the way it had appeared. He remembered how long it had been before they had heard her sob through his bedroom walls and the tear that ran down her cheek when he had burned her before she left. She hasn't cried over a burn since their famous lack of a break up. Why would she cry now?He ran his fingers over the tear stain and a shocked look racked his facial features; if he wasn't imagining things, then it was still damp. He let the letter drift down to land on the bed. Was that cry he'd heard her reaction to the letter? Why would she act that way? Shit. He reached his leg out and kicked hard at the wall at the end of the bed. Shit.

He swung his legs over the side of the cot and reached for the boots that he had kicked off earlier, tugging them on fiercely. _She was crying... about me... and I burned her. Fuck..._ He stomped the floor with his right foot. _I'm such an asshole! _He smacked himself in the forehead, stopping his inner tirade, and his brain reminded him that he couldn't be sure she had read it... and there was only one person who would know if she had, other than her. He would have to talk to Donna and not let her suspect anything. How the fuck am was he gonna pull that off? He shook his head. _I'm not. I'm gonna have to tell her. _He threw his arms up in the air and then back down at his sides. "_SHIT!"_

He picked the letter up off of the bed, shoved it into it's envelope, and opened the drawer to put it inside. His eyes caught a glimpse of Jackie's picture sticking out from underneath the tin. _Shit... did she see that too?_ He lifted the tin slightly to put the letter under it then closed the drawer. He stood up, his fists clenched at his sides, and steeled himself for his trip over to Donna's.

He grabbed his sunglasses and placed them on his face while walking towards the exit to his room. Donna was not going to be happy to see him...

** Tuesday, January 1, 1980 – 2:08 pm**

**Pinciotti Kitchen**

Sitting in her Dad's kitchen at the table, drinking a can of soda, was Donna... and she couldn't believe her eyes. Hyde was standing in across from her, trying to look like he belonged there. What the hell was he doing there? She slammed the can down on the table. _What about the catalog to the head said, "I would love for you to come over and hang out later?" _She stood up and clenched her fists at her sides, glaring at him. "What the hell do you want?" She flung her arms out, displaying the empty kitchen. "Jackie isn't here for you to torture."

He had sort of expected her to react this way. He crossed his arms over his chest protectively, just in case she decided to get violent again. "I'm not looking for Jackie. I needed to talk to you about something... about her."

Donna narrowed her eyes at her friend. "Why the hell would I talk to you about Jackie? All you ever wanna do is burn her!" She was still pissed at both of them for the way that they had treated Jackie and she wasn't about to let him off the hook. "You don't get to ask about her!" She crossed the kitchen in two steps and slapped him across the face, hissing "Asshole!" as he just stood there and took it. His face was unchanged and he was staring at her... so she slapped him again.

The left side of his face burning, Hyde finally got up the nerve to speak. He caught her wrist in his left hand. "You done? If not, go ahead and get it outta your system." He let go of her arm and walked over to her kitchen table, sitting down in the chair she had vacated. "I deserve it." He said, with his eyes glued to the table.

She was speechless; Hyde had let her slap him, twice, and had practically begged for a third. What the hell had gotten into him? "Fuck, yeah, you deserve it." She walked over to the table and looked down at him. "You've been nothing but an ass to her since Sam showed up... who says I'm gonna tell you anything?" She resisted the urge to smack him again, even though the person she really wanted to slap was herself. "Huh? What makes you so sure I will?" Donna heard him sigh, even though it wasn't that loud, and waited for his response to her tangent.

He sighed again and kicked out the chair across from him at the table for her to sit in. She seemed to get the hint, because she walked over and sat down in it, placing her arms on the table. He'd gotten himself into this and talking to Donna was the only way to find out what Jackie knew. Removing his sunglasses, he took a deep breath before saying, "Because I need to know if she found out I still care." He looked up at Donna and her jaw was just about touching the table.

She wanted to reach across the table and strangle him, but something in his eyes told her that he was serious. _Better act pissed just in case._ "You WHAT? What the hell are you talking about Hyde?" She saw his face soften and she didn't know how, but she knew that he was telling the truth... maybe it was the eyes.

He put his glasses back over his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. "So, she either didn't find it, or she didn't tell you." He pushed the chair back and got up, walking toward the door to the kitchen before Donna grabbed his left shoulder.

"You think your walking out of here without an explanation, you have another thing coming, Hyde." He turned around to face her and she let her hand fall back to her side. "What are you saying?"

He looked down at feet to avoid eye-contact. "You know what..." He looked back up at her, at the flabbergasted look on her normally know-it-all face, and he knew he didn't have to explain, but he whispered it anyway. "I still love her, man." If it was possible to look more shocked, Donna had found a way, so he explained himself, knowing she wouldn't interrupt. "When she was in my room earlier, she might've found a letter I wrote her and never sent. I checked to see if it was still there and I saw tear-stains on it..." She was still staring at him like she had never seen him before. "I just need you to find out if she found it... and don't keep your mouth shut if she didn't."

He turned from her and walked out the door, leaving Donna standing in the kitchen. "WHAT?!" Yelling at the empty kitchen, she made a decision. _I have to talk to her right now. _She made her way to her room and grabbed her purse, then stormed out the door to her dad's car.

Opening the door and climbing in, she raced off in the direction of Jackie's apartment.

Hyde watched from the Forman yard as Donna sped away and knew that he was screwed no matter what. He shook his head to himself and walked toward the basement stairs.

Maybe NOW he could get some sleep! He let out a wry chuckle as he walked into his darkened room and collapsed on the bed.Yeah, right.

** A/N: **Well? Did you like it? Did I totally screw up by having him confess to Donna? Did you hate my song choices? TELL ME, DAMN IT! I'm just kidding... Please review! 

**Additional Disclaimer:** The Donna slaps in this chapter are were and always will be dedicated to **Caspar1990**, who said that a girl would never lay a mean hand on Danny. (You didn't think I would forget that, did you?)


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